Good afternoon, fellow word lovers! It's Tuesday! On this blog, Tuesday means I'll be posting a tidbit of writing from either my own story, or a story I'm currently reading.
For my very first Tidbit Tuesday, since I haven't had the chance to do much reading lately, I'm going to post a bit of my own writing. Aaaand, in honor of The Iridian Dagger going to print this week, I'm going to post a scene including two of my favorite characters to write with: Samuel Mason and Shane Mitchel! This is one of their quirkier moments, and it was definitely one of my favorite dialogue exchanges to create. I hope you enjoy it too... :)
Sam and Shane crept over to a large pine tree that was in Shane’s front yard. They hid and peaked out from behind the branches, waiting for the attacker to make his presence known. Everything was deathly still, with the only sound coming from the shuffling tree branches that swayed with the gentle summer breeze. Both men ducked back behind the tree and huddled together.
“Sam,” Shane whispered, “do you have your revolver?”
Sam checked his jacket pocket. “Yep.”
“Is it loaded?”
“I doubt it.”
“Perfect.” Shane gulped and used his shirt to dab his sweaty forehead. “Well, at least if I die, I’ll get to die beside my second best friend.”
Sam turned to Shane and raised his eyebrow. “Second best? Who’s your first?”
Shane sniffed and bit his lower lip. “My poor, lovely Janice. I never got to say goodbye.”
“Oh, your girlfriend?”
Shane scowled. “No, that’s ridiculous! I was talking about my blue and gold macaw.”
"You can't be serious. You mean to tell me I rank lower than a bird? How does that even happen?"
Shane crossed his arms like a stubborn child. "You never call. You never write."
"Oh, here we go."
"At least Janice had the decency to chat with me from time to time, even if all she said was 'Polly want a cracker'."
A gunshot filled the air, and Sam’s eyes grew wide. “Shane..."
"I know, I know. I never understood it either. I mean, I like crackers and all, but who's this 'Polly' character?"
Two more gunshots rang out.
"Shane, stop goofing off. That sounded like it was near the car!” Sam exclaimed in a whisper.
Both men darted out from behind the tree and rushed toward the sound. When they reached the car, it took them a minute to put the scene together. James was standing next to the car, holding a handgun that was aimed at the street corner. In his line of sight, two men were carrying a third to a car parked farther down the road. They rushed to load their friend into the back seat, and then left in a hurry.
Sam ran forward. “James, who was that?”
James lowered the gun and handed it to Sam. “I don’t know. But they weren’t very good shots, they missed me twice.”
“What about the third gunshot?” Shane asked.
“Oh, that was me."
Why am I here...
Seriously, does this question haunt anyone else out there in the big world? Do you ever just have a day where the answer to everything seems to be "I don't know", and you start to wonder... Does anyone?
Insecurities are everywhere, in everything, telling us why we can't, why we won't, why they never will, and how we're not worth it. Is anyone else just plain sick of feeling this way? I know I am. I've been dealing with fear, rejection, insecurity, and every other kind of word that means your unsure of yourself, for as long as I can remember. And, to be honest, I just don't feel like I can do it anymore...
So... I'm not going to...
I've decided to give up.
But before you go and call some counseling hotline on my behalf, allow me to explain that it's not the kind of giving up you're thinking of. Put down the phone. Keep reading. That's very good, now we can move onto the part where I clear everything up.
I'm giving up on that feeling.
You know, the one where you can't. Nothing after it, you just can't. Where everything in your being tells you that you're not good enough for this thing, that thing, and the next thing. The fear, the rejection, the insecurity... It's all been seen before, and the ultimate example of how to handle it like a boss is right in front of our noses.
He was teased, mocked, spat on, made to think he was a no-good nothing, and yet managed to impact the entire world. He's still shaking things up today, and everyone knows his name. He's the champion of misfits, and the ultimate example of how feeling like the outcast can be made into a good thing.
His name is Jesus.
Just wait! Before you exit this blog, huff and puff, or stomp off because of a lack of originality, hear me out!
Jesus, high and mighty, the son of God, the one true King, Prince of Peace, all of these things, right?
But listen to this...
"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground. Luke 22:42-44
JESUS. GAVE. UP.
He went through so much anxiety the night before his arrest that he sweat BLOOD. Have you ever dealt with that much fear? He was scared, he experienced a nervous breakdown, he doubted himself, and yet he still ended the prayer with "yet not my will, but yours be done."
God allowed Jesus to be someone we could all relate to, but yet also look up to at the same time. Every time Jesus was mocked, he would simply give up on allowing it to stop him, and instead let it encourage him. He gave it up to God, and let God take care of the emotions that most of us use to control our lives.
That's the difference.
We let the world dictate so much of what we think, and say, and do, that it's ruining who we are in Christ! And guess what... Even if you're that person who is in everyone's good graces, but constantly scolds yourself, you're counted in as well. Because until judgement day, YOU are a part of the world too!
That means the only voice you can trust is the same voice Jesus trusted that night: his Father.
The best part is that, because he died for us, he made it possible for all of us to listen to that voice too. We are all children of God, and we hear that all-knowing voice through the Holy Spirit. Sometimes, though, it's incredibly easy to mistake that voice for our own, so we need to be careful what we hear.
That's when giving up becomes so crucial. When we don't know where to turn, which path to take, or where we are, all we have to do is give up and let God take control. He knows more than we will ever know, and holds more love in his pinky finger than we will ever experience in our entire lives on earth! He can give us power and strength that we could never even imagine, let alone gain on our own, and that's just the beginning!
So what do YOU say? I'm already working on giving up my fears and insecurities through this blog, and it's going to take a lot of work, but it would help if I'm not alone. Freedom from anxiety is just around the corner...
But will you give it up to God?
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