I've been working in youth ministry for a little over five years now. Since I was a youth myself, actually. Initially I thought that it wouldn't change my life that much. I was just starting an acting group for young adults. I thought that my calling was simply to give teens a place to be themselves. A place where they could find friendships, build confidence, and grow in a safe environment. What I didn't realize is that I myself would also find all of those things in the process, and it would totally flip my world upside down. I've changed more over the past five years than I could ever put into words. And here are just some of the ways your life might change too if you decide to embark on the journey of youth ministry...
1. Your shopping trips get a whole lot weirder.
Just wait until the day you roll up to the checkout counter with a cart full of Oreos, pool noodles, a pillow, hedge trimmers, googly eyes, hula hoops, 12 liters of soda, clearance Christmas lights, and a pack of diapers, and try to explain it to the cashier. This is just an example, but believe me when I say that this is totally realistic. That's not even the craziest part. The craziest part is that all of those things could be for just ONE GAME. But that's just how your brain will start to work when it comes to youth night entertainment.
2. Unexpected vocabulary words.
You'll suddenly find yourself using words and phrases on a daily basis that you had barely even used once beforehand. Some that have appeared on my daily use list are...
- suicide
- self-harm or cutting
- divorce
- depression
- anxiety
- pornography
...and so much more. These words will spin through your head everyday. But for the first time in your life there will be a face, maybe multiple faces, to match each one. This will very quickly begin pulling on your heart strings, messing with your soul, and having you crying out to God more often than you ever thought you would.
3. You'll notice things.
You'll suddenly find yourself praying for that random guy in the grocery story because you saw him tugging at his long sleeves even though it's warm outside. Instead of seeing her laughter, for that one particular girl you'll take a mental note of the sadness behind her eyes. You'll read far more than just expressions, and hear more than just words. This sixth sense will become more attuned with time, telling you when anyone in the vicinity is struggling.
4. Your joy will come from very abnormal places.
A young girl just told you her parents are separating, and you feel like leaping inside because she's finally comfortable enough with you to talk about her struggles. You freak out because you know it's one more step toward healing for her. You'll get excited over that one kid wearing a short-sleeved shirt in public, because you know he's been cutting lately and this is a sign of trust. You'll celebrate over ripped up sheets of paper, because you know they were suicide notes that will never be read. You'll look at your empty wallet and smile, because that money was spent going out to coffee with a teen whose life is falling apart, and it was the first time you'd seen them laugh in ages. You'll find out that one of your students just started counseling because they want to quit their porn addiction, and you'll feel like maybe God really can move mountains. Suddenly, the word 'joy' takes on a whole new meaning. It's like little samples of Heaven right here on earth.
5. Miracles become the norm.
If I tried to tell you every single miracle I've seen in the last five years, we would be here for a very long time. I could write a novel and still not cover it all. Praying for cash we needed for a performance... we find $20 in an empty parking lot. About a month later, more expenses for the same performance, my dad and brother watch in awe as a $50 floats down the street and comes to a gentle landing right where their vehicle is parked. Satan once tried to destroy a show by causing one of our actors to get into a car accident in the parking lot of our venue only ONE HOUR before people were supposed to start arriving. The car was totaled, but the actor came out of it with barely a scratch. In fact, that particular actor even ended up performing that night. At that same show we thought we had enough food to feed maybe 100 people, so when over 300 showed up we were positive we'd run out of supplies. Every time we thought we'd pulled the last pie from the kitchen, a new one would be found somewhere else. We left that day with food to spare! An actual loaves and fish situation right before our eyes, and the audience had no clue. One time I was praying about whether or not I should get a second job to help pay for TAG expenses. Only a couple days later someone randomly walked up to my mom at church and handed her a hundred dollar bill, saying "It's for TAG." There are plenty more stories I could tell, but that's another blog post for another day. Just know that God will not leave you hanging. If he wants something to happen, nothing is going to stop Him.
6. Not acting your age isn't such a bad thing.
I've always loved wearing character tees. Shirts with Disney cartoons, superheroes, and other classics are usually my go-to when it comes to expressing myself. I just love it! Thanks to youth ministry, buying "adult clothes" isn't as necessary. Now, when I start to feel guilt over buying yet another Captain America t-shirt, I get to rationalize by saying it's an easy way to relate to the teens and help them feel comfortable. Plus, I'm a theatre director. Adulting is more of a hindrance than a help in my line of work anyway. Just sayin... ;)
7. If you don't know your opinion on something, you will.
Believe me, if you're looking for a fast way to find out how you feel about something, become a counselor. The more I give out advice, the more I learn about myself and my stance in this world. Sometimes I have to do research on a topic teens come to me asking questions about, and it's usually because they told me about a problem I didn't even know existed in the first place. I can now say that I know what God's word says on these topics, and I know where I stand.
8. Brokenness is not only ok, it's welcomed with open arms.
Or, it should be. Unfortunately, the youth group at my church didn't feel this way for me. That wasn't necessarily the fault of the leaders, but the fault of the specific teens who attended. There were a lot of stereotypical "popular kids" that went to my youth group, and the few friends who stuck with me didn't feel comfortable there at all. It's not a good place to be when you're hiding from bullies in the house of God. I went to the same church most of my life, and yet every week when I arrived at youth group a leader would see me sitting alone, approach me, and ask if I was new. Then I had the embarrassing task of telling them I had been going to church there for 8+ years, and was only sitting by myself because the one friend I had wasn't there that night. Girls like me just didn't fit. Not all youth groups are like this, mind you. I actually ended up switching to a much smaller youth group at a different church for the last two years of high school, and it was lovely! I made some incredible friendships. But after that change of scenery, I made it my goal to make sure that my ministry never felt like a charity case for misfits. No halting at surface level conversations. Every time I walk into that room every week and see all the young adults with differing stories and life situations, I'm in awe. Different churches, different schools, different lives. Whether they're socially awkward, a little bit arrogant, or somewhere in between. I see ADD, ADHD, PTSD, and a variety of other acronyms. But what do we all have in common? We all love Jesus, we've all felt lonely, and we don't want others to feel the same way. Simple as that. Simply, honestly, wonderfully beautiful. And it's all evidence that God's planning is way better than mine could ever be. I call it the "No TAGer left behind" policy.
When you decide to get involved in youth ministry, your life will be turned upside down. You'll find yourself getting hit with wave after wave of trials, because satan doesn't like loyal servants of the King. In fact, he despises us. He's made it his goal to take us out one by one, and it's extremely personal. But each new experience with darkness will just help your light glow stronger. Never let your fire go out, my brothers and sisters. Keep shining on! Light your lamps with the refreshing oil of God's Holy Word, and allow faith to be your foundation. I can't promise you it will be easy, but after five years of absolute crazy I can definitely tell you that it's worth it.
Keep pressing on. Trust me. If God has something up his sleeve, it's something you're gonna want to be a part of.
Most importantly, never stop believing that you're here for a purpose. Once you believe that about yourself, it will be infinitely easier to believe it about your teens. And please believe me when I say that's a message they desperately need to hear right now. When you get involved with youth ministry, you're helping the next generation make the world a better place. Don't stop. I promise, you won't regret it.
