A misplaced comment, the wrong words said at the wrong time, sarcasm sounding more hurtful than it was meant to, and suddenly, it happens...
World War 3 has broken out in your home, and it can all be traced back to a single sentence that was said over dinner.
Now, just minutes later, words are being thrown back and forth like gunfire. Explosions are at every turn. And by the way things are escalating, you nearly expect one of your family members to pull a grenade out of their pocket any moment now. All you can do is retreat and hide for cover before more damage can be done, but one question still lingers...
Why the heck was this battle so important anyway?
Sounds like a pretty accurate description, right? Well...that's because I've had several first hand encounters. My most recent encounter, on this very weekend. That's right, folks! Not sure how I did it, but I somehow managed to take the most unselfish holiday of the ENTIRE year (Easter), and make it about me! (Please, someone get this girl a medal!)
Seriously though, how does it happen? One minute we're all chatting over a pleasant family dinner, and the next, our whole weekend is one giant argument about every single issue we can find. The short time span in which this all crescendos never ceases to amaze me. In mere moments, we end up creating damage that takes at least a week to forgive, and even longer to forget. But how does it happen?
I could tell you it was all because of my life story...add in some (definitely blown out of proportion) details about certain childhood traumas and the nasty effects they have had on my temper. I could blame it on my theatric side, and tell you that my drama-geeky brain is beginning to impact me in negative ways (which wouldn't be even the slightest bit true). I could say that Jesus just hasn't quite opened up to me about working on the way I treat others yet (which would be the biggest falsehood of them all).
Or...I could tell you the truth, which can be boiled down to a simple three word sentence...
I'm. Not. Perfect.
Ok, so, technically when I write it like that it's not much of a sentence, but you get the idea. And it's absolutely, 100% the truth. I am far from perfect. Some examples...
I have a majorly short temper with way too much to say.
I constantly seek approval from those around me, even though I tell everyone I don't.
I'm terribly honest about my personal life with almost everyone I come in contact with.
I'm possibly THE most impatient person you'll ever meet.
I act on impulses a lot, which means my plate is always full and I'm usually stressed about it.
I usually assume that I'm everyone's least favorite person, and can hardly be convinced otherwise.
I watch Hallmark channel for hours on end and steam with envy over all the cuteness that isn't happening to me.
I'm messy, I'm complicated, I spend way too much time on Pinterest, and most days I don't even get out of bed until 11:30am.
I'm not perfect! And no matter how hard I try, or how often I work at it, I never will be! But, you know what, even though my family argued all the way through Easter, and our weekend was pretty much over before it began, I wouldn't have changed a thing...
Because this is the very first Easter that I've truly seen how unfathomable the sacrifice of Jesus actually was...
Think about it...
I don't know about you, but I am such a big disappointment! I act all high and mighty on a daily basis, and yet I hardly ever play the part. I go to church every Sunday, work in the children's wing twice a month, pray when I need to, give people the godly answers by the book, and do devotions whenever I think about it. None of this is bad, but I'm realizing that there is so much more to a relationship with God than just these things! I need to be desiring God in a powerful way before I even try any of that! Here's the reality...
I should be giving God my every day, serving his people all the time, praying because I get to, allowing God to work in other people's lives instead of solving their problems myself, and doing devotions more than just those times that I'm bored right after I wake up and too lazy to get my phone all the way across the room. So, if I know all of this, why don't I just do it? The answer is the same.
I'm not perfect...
But that's why Easter is so incredible: I don't have to be.
When Jesus came down to us as a perfect man, he knew what he was here for. He knew what we would do to him, and yet all he did was give to us. Then he finished the gift when he died the most horrible death known to man. He paid our debt so that instead of seeking perfection, we could just seek him.
My weekend may have been ruined by words of hate and sorrow, but the mistakes we made today have already been erased. God has given us the most beautiful gift of love in all of creation, and it's the only glue that can hold a family together. This type of glue is called forgiveness. It's difficult to use, rare to find, and the most painful invention in all of history. But God gives it, free for the taking.
I'll admit, I don't offer the forgiveness card nearly as much as I should, yet I accept it as willingly as I would accept a free meal in the desert. It's hard to give of ourselves, but it's so easy to take. Christ knew which side he was on. As for me, that's a question I'm kind of scared to answer. Am I one who's more apt to receive grace than to give it?
I guess that's the question that each of us need to answer on our own.
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