When The Joy Won't Come (Once Upon A Time, I Got Ministry Burnout)

I haven't written on here in a long time...

Here I am.  Up at midnight....crying...again.  Blogging because I'm desperate for a distraction.  Anything to quiet all the very demanding, self-deprecating voices in my head.  You know what set me off?  The crying, I mean?  A pile of dirty laundry.  It's ridiculous, right?  I mean, obviously, from the length of this post, there's more to it than that.  But, basically, I started crying because I took one look around my messy room and felt instantly tired wondering when I would actually have the time to do something about it.

It's amazing how fast life can becoming overwhelming isn't it?  Lately I've been feeling like even breathing takes too much time.  It's hard to get out of bed some days, but I get out of bed anyway.  No matter how much sleep I get I'm always tired, I go to sleep anyway.  I tell my friends I'll schedule a time to hang out, but I can see in their eyes that they're skeptical.  I would be skeptical too. 

I'm directing a play.  A play that has fun moments, but is overall very serious and stressful.  There are too many decisions to make, and I don't feel capable of making them.  I need to figure out... so many things that are way over my head. 

I'm working hard to grow a, quite frankly, very experimental ministry.  Something that, to my knowledge, hasn't really been done before.  I'm terrified.  I'm anxious.  I'm in a rabbit-like state of constantly wanting to dart into the bushes, but knowing I can't.

Honestly, most days I feel trapped.

Sometimes it's hard to even get three straight meals in a single day, not without at least one of them being a granola bar grabbed last minute from the snack drawer. 

My mind is never at rest.  If I'm not working on a project, I'm thinking about the next five projects down the line.  I'm strategizing, worrying, and dreaming all at once.  I have trouble sleeping most nights.  Hence, why I'm writing in my chair right now instead of laying in my nice, warm bed. 

I went to Easter service this morning.  I sang in the choir.  It was beautiful, and fun, and I loved every minute of worshiping my Savior with my incredible church family.  But, if I'm honest, even at rehearsal I was fighting the urge to think through the lists of tasks I need to handle.

People say they want to help.  I have a hard time believing them.  I think people are under the impression that what I do is a "Fun Job."  Those people would be incorrect.  Sure, it has its fun moments.  But most of the time it's just hard.  Really, really hard.  Some days even impossibly so.  So when I show them a list of actual work related tasks I need to complete, most of the time they're surprised.  Where's all the fun stuff they assumed my work to be? 

Sometimes even the parents and "more experienced" adults fall to the assumption that my job is simple.  Assuming that I know what the heck I'm doing.  That I'm fine, and not just pretending to get by.  That I'm not actually freaking out on the inside on a daily basis.

My job is getting a phone call at 1am while I'm on vacation with my family because a teenager I just met a few days earlier is missing and on suicide watch. 

My job is staying on the phone with my TAG family in prayer until they find that teenager two hours later, at 3am.

My job is coordinating a gazillion schedules for busy families, and trying to find times they can meet so that their calendars aren't weighed down, even if mine is.

My job is struggling to step forward because I'm a twenty-something who's still figuring out who God created me to be, and yet having to constantly send apology emails because I'm supposed to have everything figured out by now.

My job is making it up as I go, and relying on God in every moment because I am nothing on my own. 

My job is typing, and filing, and sorting, and often quite boring.

My job is months of constant spiritual battle for just a couple hours of rest during showtime, before the cycle starts all over again.

My job is identifying what's at the core of a teenager's pain, instead of focusing on the symptoms, so that they can find healing. 

My job is allowing my actors to take a mental health day and skip rehearsal whenever they need to, even if I don't have that same luxury.

My job is frightening.  My job is a war zone.  My job is exhausting.  My job makes me want to give up most days.

But I wouldn't trade the last six years for the world...

If you would have asked me what I wanted to do with my life six years ago, it wouldn't have been this.  Youth Skit Group Therapy Director would not have even been on the list.  In fact, I wouldn't have even known what that was!  It wasn't on my radar at all that I would direct my first full length musical at 19.  I didn't have a wish list that said I wanted to go through ministry burnout before age 30.  It just wasn't in the plan.

And yet... despite all of this struggle and darkness, I can still trust that the plan I'm in is a GOOD plan.  It's a GOOD plan because it's GOD'S plan.  I may have doubted that I'm where I want to be, but I've never once doubted that I'm where God wants me to be.

This might sound super strange, but there's a specific TV show my sister and I love watching together that I've pulled a lot of lessons from recently.  It might surprise you, but the show is called Once Upon A Time. 

*****SKIP AHEAD IF YOU DON'T WANT SEASON 5 SPOILERS******

Once Upon A Time is a creative retelling of favorite fairytales, new and old, in a modern setting.  In the first season, the Evil Queen has created a small town in Maine called Storybrooke.  She wipes the memories of all the fairytale characters and places them in this town in our world, where she is the mayor.  Several years later, along comes Emma Swan, who is brought to this hidden town by a young boy claiming to be her son.  His name is Henry, and he tries to convince Swan that she is the long lost daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming, who sent her to the real world as a baby before the curse fell so that she could one day rescue the happy endings of all the characters. 

I actually admire this show a lot for their display of consequences and moral compasses.  Whenever a character makes a bad choice, it truly does have defined consequences.  There are also strong elements of grace and forgiveness, as well as redemption for previous wrongs.  Villains turning over new leaves is a common theme, for instance.  And the storytelling in itself is rather brilliant.  How they keep track of all those characters, I will never know!

To be honest, Emma Swan is the character that I relate to most.  Maybe more than I would like.  Just like Emma, I'm constantly afraid of hurting people, so I'm not good at developing a close relationship with anyone.  I allow others to rely on me too much, while at the same time not allowing myself to rely on anyone at all.  It's safer that way.  Less chance that I'll burden them, and I won't get betrayed if I don't trust anyone.

I relate to Emma because, like her, there's a vast calling on my life, and I'm still deciding if I want it or not.  Not because I'm opposed to the idea itself, but because I'm usually convinced someone other than me could do a better job.  I don't see myself as a hero.  Most days I see myself as the accidental villain.  All the good intentions, but none of the good outcome.  Too many mistakes.  I stumble.  I strive too hard to flip the situation.  It ends badly.  I'm often more pessimistic than I would like to be, especially with myself.  But when it comes to my job, I'm not a quitter.  I don't generally handle complements well.  Love and adoration often make me uncomfortable, even if I don't want them to.  I'm awkward in surface conversations.

There's the fact that I always feel like it's up to me to fix everyone's problems on my own.  And even though I know I don't actually have to, I find myself feeling like I need to try anyway, which usually ends in disaster.  But I don't like watching my friends and family suffer.  I much too often allow my fear of the future delay me from moving forward.

And, most recently, a lot of times it feels like there's a dark being in my head trying very hard to discourage me. 

I'm just gonna face the facts.  I often try to play Belle when I'm in public, just so I don't get pelted with questions.  Positive, joyful, carefree.  The last thing an introvert likes is hearing "are you ok?" over and over again throughout the day.  But on the inside I'm viewing things with a very Emma point of view.  Tired of being hurt, wishing I could trust more openly, never quite knowing what my next step should be.

Recently a specific quote from the show really hit me.  It was stated by King Arthur, who actually (go figure) ended up being a total jerk.  But even so, he got this quote right on the nose.  I can't find the exact quote anywhere, but it was something like this...

Arthur told David (aka, Prince Charming), "It's alright that we didn't complete what we quested to do.  Did you know that quest is another word for seek, David?  So, in actuality, the seeking is more important than the finding.  For the seeking is where you grow."

This conversation hit me so deeply as we were watching the episode, along with the newfound voices in Emma's head that were constantly telling her she couldn't do anything right.  That she was incapable.  Her usually brave and bold personality getting smaller and smaller as this season goes on, and it's exactly how I've been feeling.  Smaller and smaller.

*****END OF SPOILERS******

This is the state of my being lately.

It's not pretty.  It's not colorful or vibrant.  I'm constantly exhausted.  I'm finding it hard to be interested in things that usually excite me.  But it's my current reality.

I want to end this post with a happiness and a hope.  But right now everything is so difficult.  It feels like the simplest things are ten times harder than they normally are for me to complete.  And steal ten times the energy.  I'm usually the optimistic one, but it's just not happening for me right now.  It will eventually, but it's going to take some time.  I haven't had a break from youth ministry in six years, and burnout is definitely taking its toll. 

I haven't talked about my ministry burnout until now because I haven't wanted anyone to treat me differently.  I still want my teens to feel they can come to me.  I still want to move forward in God's goodness and grace.  I still want to grow and learn as I trust Him more.

Honestly, the purpose of this post is just mostly to inform you of what's going on with me lately.  Why I might seem a little different.  Why I might not blog as much for a little while.  And also to ask you to pray for me. 

Would you pray for me?  It would mean the world to me. 

Again, I'm sorry for the downtrodden nature of this post.  I can't wait to get some of my energy back so I can post happy, fun, joyful things once again!  It'll happen.  I know it will!  God has a purpose for me, and it will not fail.  I have every confidence of this.  All I know is that God never said life would be easy.  He just said it would be possible.  And possible is all I need.

It's almost 3am as I'm finishing this post.  I think my brain is finally emptied of thoughts enough to get some sleep.  I should blog more regularly again, because this always seems to help my mood when I'm walking through less-than-ideal circumstances.  Thank you, Jesus, for the written word and the beautiful role it's played in my life!

Father, hear my plea... See me.  Wash over me.  Hold me up, my Savior.

No matter what happens, even so, I will dare to believe in you and your good plan for me!

Amen.

"Losing Myself" On A Sunday Afternoon

This post was actually written a couple of weeks ago, but I haven't been able to edit it until now.  God has been opening my eyes to some of his plans for me recently, and it has absolutely taken my breath away.  After months and years of questions, I'm beginning to see just how he was working all along, and how I should have just patiently trusted...  Hopefully my lessons will save you the trouble.

***

I'm in awe of you.

Even when I'm busy following my own plan, searching for what I think should be happening in my life, you're still at work.  You show me your loving kindness and mercy by continuing your good plan for me even when I'm attempting to walk on my own.  What a laughable thought.

Why do I do this?  I move ahead of you before the time is right.  I struggle, I moan and complain, I ask you why, and I'm not willing to wait.

Impatience... Not just a bad choice, it's a sin.  I've been too eager, not willing to wait on your plan.

Even still, you finally reveal your plan, and it's so easy.  You were working the whole time, and I didn't even notice.  A plan that only you could have orchestrated, at work when I was too distracted trying to bring things about in my own way.  And yet, even when I was ignoring you, you brought about the answer.

Lord, I'm so ashamed of how little faith I have in you... I long to trust you so desperately, and yet I make plans outside of you.

Transform me, Father.  Change me from the inside out and teach me to be patient.  You are the only one I want dictating my future.  No one else.  Not my own thoughts, not my friends or family, not the world and what society considers "normal."

Only you.

Refine me, Abba, in the fires of your holy forge.  Mold me into a weapon of your choosing, created with purpose and ready for whatever battlefield awaits me.  Design me with your eternal kingdom in mind, so that I might have the chance to serve some small role in your kingdom.  My life in your capable hands; the only one who can take a pointless piece of metal and turn it into a valued form with a specified purpose.  Whether it be a sword, charging forward into the unknown.  An arrow, pointing the way.  A dagger, for up close, in-the-thick-of-it warfare.  A chest plate, shielding hearts from darkness.  A helmet, protecting minds from the devil's schemes.

Whatever is needed most, you choose.  I will wait with great anticipation to discover what you create.  I will be patient, content with the fact that, no matter my specific title, I am already the dear beloved of God.

Today my shirt says "I am yours and you are faithful."  I've been harboring so much bitterness, Jesus.  Anger toward those who have left me behind.  I've been prideful, and filled with hate.  I've convinced myself that my feelings are justified.

No...

Everyone who's not in my life anymore was removed for a reason.  My judgements toward them are only a demonstration of my imperfect heart, not theirs.  You not only saw every moment, you walked it with me.  You orchestrated each friendship's beginning and end, working each one for my good.  My bitterness toward those people and situations after all this time is keeping me from completely experiencing the fullness of your love.  Each day of confusion and tears was written in your book, along with exactly how you would work each minute into the goodness of your plan for me.  You've always known who you want me to become, even before I was a thought in anyone's mind.  Every moment, whether joy or pain, was designed with a positive purpose; to get me there.  Each step has deepened my relationship with you in a way that nothing else could have.  You pursue me with tireless passion and determination.  You don't just tolerate my existence, but genuinely adore me with perfect, unconditional love that no one else can offer.  A love that my sinful heart can never truly comprehend or repay.

A gift greater than anyone could possibly surpass.

The real trouble is I've spent so much of my life trying to find myself.  What does that even mean, "finding myself?"  I've already been found.  The creator of the stars knows me better than even I do, and yet I'm worried about finding myself?

All this time I've wasted, and I've only just realized that my time would have been better spent losing myself.  Losing myself in you.

I keep wandering aimlessly, feeling sorry for myself as though I'm such a lost cause.  If only I would open my soul and start listening to you before reaching sorry desperation, I would hear a very different message than the one I usually give myself.  I shouldn't be finding myself...  Because only by losing myself do I find more of you.

My only function, the one thing I was created for, is to live life solely to bring you glory.  I'm meant to breathe, sing, dance, laugh, cry, speak, and love in such a way that anyone could look at me and see you instead.

No matter what the world says.  No matter how many times I lose direction and focus, and attempt to find my way back on my own.  No matter how hard I am on myself, and how many times I question the way you created me.  To you I am always enough.

All my flaws, all my gifts, everything that makes me who I am, just as I am... It's enough for you.

I can just be.

This New Year I had some trouble.  I couldn't figure out a good resolution.  Not because I couldn't think of anything to improve.  Not at all.  Quite the opposite, actually.  I have way too much to improve.  So, how do you pick just one thing to work on about yourself?  The last two years I've chosen more general life goals.  It started in 2015 with the resolution to "live bravely."  In 2016 it was to "be joyful" in every circumstance, which was surprisingly more difficult than the live bravely challenge. 

And now I think I just found my newest resolution.

In 2017 I'm going to strive to "lose myself" in God's love.  I've spent too much time looking for love in other places.  Created too many failures attempting to find myself without my Savior.

It's a lot like driving. 

You know when you pull up to a stop light, and you're anticipating the moment when that light turns green?  What do you look at in the moments before you get the go signal?  Are you the person who looks at the red light and waits patiently for it to turn green?  Or do you look at the light that's currently green to see when it turns red?  I caught myself doing the second thing one day, and God called me on it in a big way.  In fact, I haven't been able to get that lesson out of my head ever since. 

"What are you doing looking at someone else's greenlight, when you should be patiently watching me to give you a greenlight of your own?"

Ouch.

My loving Father, I don't want to do that anymore.  It's time to get lost in the beauty of all you are.  I want my breath to be stolen away by the glory of your presence.  I don't want to push you away anymore.  You've chased after me my entire life.  Even after I gave my life to you, you still didn't stop pursuing me.  You are pure, untainted love, and I fall more in love with you everyday. 

Truthfully, I'm a mess.  I'm envious, judgmental, insecure, broken, selfish, controlling, and constantly aware of my every fault.  I'm a disaster.  I'm trying.  I'm constantly failing.  But somehow, that's not what you see.  I will never live up to all the expectations I have for myself.  But somehow that doesn't matter.

Because, despite all of that, you love me anyway.  And I will never thank you enough.

The Truth About Singleness

I found the first chunk of this post in my drafts.  Apparently I wrote this about two months ago, and I thought it could be relatable, so I finished it and decided to finally release it.  These are some of my thoughts on how our generation treats singles.  Hopefully the confusion displayed in this writing isn't something I'm experiencing alone.  I would love to hear your thoughts on it once you finish reading. 

***

There's just something about a Friday night... The weekend is right around the corner.  Everyone is excited to have free time.  People are making plans.  Some girl somewhere is sprucing up for a date, and her beau is somewhere else doing the same thing. 

I'm at home.  I got home from work, and put on some sweats with comfy socks (in Ravenclaw colors, of course).  I threw my hair up in a messy bun, that actually turned out beautifully for once.  And now I'm blogging.

I'll admit...life gets a little lonely sometimes.

Now, I don't feel like this all the time.  Most days I truly love where I'm at.  I get to do what I'm passionate about, leading theatre productions and helping teens discover just how fearfully and wonderfully made they really are.  It's a breathtakingly beautiful adventure to be a part of, and I can't imagine doing anything else!  I'm not in college, so I have time to write, which I adore doing.  And I'm so blessed to have a job that I can get excited about, where coffee is always welcome, and with people who feel more like family everyday. 

Truly, from every angle, I have a lovely, lovely life.

But...every once in awhile...a little stream of doubt creeps into my heart.

You know how it is.  You hit a certain age and suddenly all your friends are either dating or engaged.  It especially hits when these people are younger than you. 

I know, I know, I should be happy for them.  And I am!  I always get excited when news like that arrives, really!  But, if I'm honest, at the same time I can feel satan moving quickly to use their joy against me.

Lately I've been going through an identity crisis of sorts.  I've been told that's normal in my stage of life.  But, somehow, I feel like my situation is a little different.  I'm sure there are a lot of girls who are single for a while and start to wonder "is there anyone in God's plan for me, or am I meant to be single forever?"  To be totally truthful, I ask myself that question a lot.

However, for me there are more questions to add on to that...

"Is there anyone who will see me as a girl with standards, and not a girl who's totally stuck up?"

"If a female is in a ministry leadership position, is it even a good idea for her to get married?"

"Am I crazy for hoping that someday I'll meet a guy who shares my morals and passions, who will mesh well with me personality wise, and will also be willing to take on a theatre troupe of 40+ teens and preteens?"

That last one though...  This is my dilemma. 

Honestly, not even talking on a marriage level here.  Even just dating me.  What kind of guy would agree to that deal?  He would not only have to put up with me and all my baggage, but he would have to win over my non-biological family that I spend practically all my time with.  Not "win them over" for approval reasons, but because any guy I date is going to automatically be in a position of speculation. 

I guess, looking at it in a different light, that's a huge blessing.  Knowing a large group of young people are looking to me to set a healthy example for them has probably kept me from getting into quite a few stupid relationships.  Wow. 

Now that I truly think about that, I should really thank them.

But at the same time, all these questions seem to swirl faster and faster in my mind with each passing day. I know what I'm looking for. I want a ministry partner, not just a husband, and I've come to realize just how tall of an order that really is.

I mean... I'm not putting God in a box by any means. I continue to pray that, if this particular guy is out there, the Holy Spirit would be preparing his heart for this journey even now. I just wish I knew whether I'm meant to be in a time of waiting... Or a time of accepting that maybe I'm just supposed to live single. There's nothing wrong with either option. God has different plans for everyone, and every one of them is good.

But wouldn't knowing make it easier? I wouldn't have to wonder if, maybe, I'm just waiting around for someone who's never going to come.  If we could just find out whether or not God wants something for us, we would be saved so much time! Not as many lessons in that, I suppose.... but still.

Obviously, I'm not God. I don't know what He has planned for me. But some days I really wish I did...

I guess this all boils down to my greatest weakness... Patience.

I don't like waiting.  The longer I wait, the more I worry.  The more I worry, the more likely it is that I'll sign up for extra projects just to distract myself .  The more projects I take on, the more stressed I get.  It's a cruel, cruel cycle.  And then there's the doubt again.

You know what I'm talking about.  That sinking feeling you get when you've listened to advice from too many people.

"Put yourself out there more.  Don't be so picky that you make it impossible for anyone to ask you out."

"But don't settle either.  You deserve the best of the best, and anything else would be settling."

"Don't expect perfection, because perfection doesn't exist.  We're all human, and you have faults too, so give a little grace."

"Don't accept too many flaws, though.  You don't want to chance ending up with someone who's less than God's best for you."

Does anyone else see how that could be confusing?  And it's not like I hear these things every once in a while.  It's constant.  However, what they don't tell me is where do I draw the line?  What qualifies as good enough without being perfect?  What is the acceptable amount of flaws when it comes to God's best?  Is there an exact science?  A precise ratio where 3 parts perfect and 1 part imperfect magically creates husband material, universally acceptable to society?

The amount of opinions people think they're welcome to give when you're a young, single person tend to escalate the longer you're not in a relationship, and it damages your soul very quickly.  Whether you want it to or not, it already bothers you.  Any public discussion on the matter just turns dreams for a future time into a pit of desperate searching.  It causes you to rush into hasty decisions and relationships you wouldn't have made otherwise, just to get people to stop treating you like "that poor lonely single."

I mean, I googled the word "single", and the first results to pop up were ads for dating sites, like it's a problem to be fixed.  If that doesn't tell you how our world views relationships, I don't know what will. 

All I know is that there is NOTHING wrong with us!  Singleness is not a disease.  It's not a horrifying problem to be solved.  It just means that God knows you can work better as a unit on your own right now.  Maybe someday you'll reach a point where working as a unit with someone else will make more sense.  If that happens, great!  But a relationship should be nothing more than the union of two people who feel they can serve God more effectively together than they can separately.  That's the difference.  It's love with a purpose, not love just for the sake of avoiding judgment and loneliness.  True love should run toward something, not away from something else.

The bottom line is, no matter what the world has to say, I'm just where God wants me right now.  If he wants to change that, he will send me the right guy, at the right time, with the right amount of flaws and perfections to perfectly complement my own.  Someone who will crave a life of ministry, and desire to free this generation in Jesus' name as much as I do.  No outside help needed.  Someone who will pursue my heart with intention, instead of waiting for me to make the first move.  Someone I won't have to lead for once, but who will also appreciate the sense of leadership that God has placed inside me.

Maybe I've met him, maybe I haven't.  Maybe he lives here, maybe somewhere else.  Maybe he doesn't exist, and I'm meant to live like Sherlock, "married to my work."  Whatever ends up happening, I'll be fine.  God has a plan, and that plan is good, with or without a spouse attached.  With or without the approval of those around me.

The point is, if love, in the romantic sense of the word, is something God wants for me, I'll know it when it happens.

As written by L.M. Montgomery...

"Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one's life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one's side like an old friend through quiet ways; perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart its pages betrayed the rhythm and the music, perhaps... perhaps... love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath."

My Top 16 Most Listened To Artists Of 2016

As a writer, it often helps my concentration to have music playing through my mind while I write.  Different scenes require different moods, so I listen to a lot of varying types of music.  Even when I'm not writing, I have headphones in my ears and I'm dancing around to something.  It's a usual sight in my house.  Or maybe it's playing through a speaker.  Or I'm listening to my record player.  (As a matter of fact, I have music on while I'm writing this post right now.)  Without furthering your inevitable anticipation, in no particular order, here are my most listened to artists of 2016...


1. Carrollton



Tell Me / Let Love Win / Meant To Be / Open Wide

2. Colony House

Lonely / You and I / Waiting For My Time To Come / Silhouettes / Moving Forward

3. Adam Young Scores

These are my favorite albums to put on shuffle when I'm writing 😁

4. Lauren Daigle

How Can It Be / Trust In You / Come Alive / First


5. Ben Rector

Brand New / Follow You / More Like Love / Forever Like That / Note To Self / Almost Home
(Who am I kidding, all of his songs are amazing)


6. Relient K

There are too many to list, but I'm in love with their newest album.  Air For Free is my jam ❤


7. I Am They



From The Day / Awake My Love / We Are Yours / King Of Love


8. Anthem Lights



Unknown / Like The Movies / Be With You / Dear Hollywood
(Ah, the average Christian girl's favorite band of total weirdos.)

9. Jessa Anderson

Fireflies / Giving Your Heart Away / Worship The Lamb / Not Myself Anymore / Whole

10. Rend Collective

My Lighthouse / Every Giant Will Fall / You Will Never Run / Boldly I Approach

11. NEEDTOBREATHE



Multiplied / Brother / Happiness / Testify


12. Owl City



Vanilla Twilight / Back Home / My Everything / Silhouette / Tidal Wave / Up All Night / Wolf Bite
(Just... all of it.  It's Adam Young, king of the awkward introverts!  Come on, I can't just pick a few.)


13. Jamie Grace



Just A Friend / White Boots / Little Ol' Me / Show Jesus


14. TobyMac



Til The Day I Die / Move / Feel It / Me Without You / Made For Me


15. Tenth Avenue North



Worn / What You Want / We Won't Numb The Pain / Losing / Oh My Dear / Control / Afraid
(Yesss, more beloved Christian weirdos.)


16. 513Free



 Weight Of It All / Different / Slide / Beautiful Mystery / Made For More / Letters To God
(This group is fantastic, and they are so much more than a band.  Their new album, Real Thing, is incredible!  Check it out along with their various prison ministries to #BreakTheCycle!)

What are some of your favorite artists and songs from this year?  Let me know in the comments!

10 Ways to Rock NaNoWriMo This Year

What's my favorite time of year, you may ask?  Autumn, without a doubt!  Is it because of Thanksgiving, the leaves changing color, or sweater weather?  Absolutely, I love all of those things.  However, in recent years my love for Fall has grown by leaps and bounds, simply because of one very lovely acronym.

NaNoWriMo...

NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month, and it's basically the novelist version of Christmas.  Every year writers from all over the world embark on a creative journey to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days.  It's a whirlwind, to be sure, but it's the most fun whirlwind you'll ever experience in your entire life!  Writing on your own is one thing, and it's very possible to get a lot done that way.  But you will never experience the true beauty of writing until you're up at 1am typing like fire with thousands of other writers across the globe.  It's a sort of magic that can't quite be put into words.

If you make the decision to join me on this crazy wonderful journey this November, I promise you will not regret it.  But, in order to make this the best experience possible, I decided to make a list of tips and tricks I've learned over my four years of experience with this creative mad-dash.  

*Also, a note to teachers and homeschool moms, NaNoWriMo has student kits that can be used to turn it into a classroom activity for English credit.  I did it for a school project two years in a row, and it was incredible!  My whole family is participating this year, and I'm so excited!  Keep reading for more info on that.*

1.  Determine if you want to join the Adult Program or the Young Adult Program.

NaNoWriMo actually has two different websites.  In the Young Adult program, those 17 and younger can sign up and choose their own word count goal for the month of November.  This program also has an option for teachers to sign up their classroom as a group.  That way teachers can track the progress of their students and see if they're keeping up with their goals.  Worksheets are available as well, for curriculum purposes.

Check it out here:  http://ywp.nanowrimo.org/

                       

Once you turn 18, you have to join the Adult program.  But writers younger than 18 can join this program as well.  In the Adult program you can't choose your own word count goal.  The goal for everyone is automatically set to 50,000 words.  Don't be freaked out by that though.  Even if you don't hit that goal, you'll still get a lot of writing done while you try, and that's the point anyway!

Website: http://nanowrimo.org/

2. Sign up and get your novel page set up ASAP!

The sooner you do this, the more time you'll have to think on what you'll be writing about.  Signing up is pretty easy, and it doesn't take a whole lot of time to establish your novel either.  Get it done early and start the month off right!

3. Are you a Planner or a Pantser?  

In other words, are you going to make a detailed plan before you write your novel this year?  Or are you going to fly by the seat of your pants and make it up as you go?  I'm a Pantser all the way.  I find that not knowing what's going to happen next helps me write more from the character's point of view.  Figure out which one you are and prepare accordingly.  Whether you're a planner or a pantser, make sure you print out NaNoWriMo's prep packet!  It has questionnaires and writing tips to help you along the way.   

4. Get yourself a late-night-motivation stash.

Every year one of my favorite ways to prepare for NaNoWriMo is to pick out some of my favorite snacks, candies, and drinks to stock up for those nights when I need a little burst of energy.  Suddenly you'll find yourself very excited to stay up late sticking to your word goal, believe me!  Some of my favorites are things that have a little sugar buzz, but also have a taste that'll keep me awake.  Chai, sparkling water, any type of ginger candy, York peppermint patties, and sour gummies are just a few examples.  Of course, coffee and chocolate covered espresso beans are a plus as well.

5. Find a space.

The hardest thing for me every year isn't figuring out what to write about.  It's figuring out WHERE to write.  It has to be convenient.  Comfortable, but not so much that I fall asleep.  I need access to an electric outlet for my computer.  Close vicinity to coffee is always helpful.  Identify a place where you can write efficiently, and make a mental note of it for when November 1st rolls around.

6. Promise to ignore your inner editor, and MEAN IT.

This one is always ridiculously hard for me.  If I type a sentence and it's not just as it's supposed to be, forcing myself to move on and not correct it is basically torture.  But if I obsess over that one sentence for too long, that takes time away from other scenes I could be writing.  Shoving off that editor in your head is essential if you want to finish on time!

7. Look up lots of writing memes...

You've gotta do something when you hit the procrastination phase of the writing process.

8. Follow NaNoWriMo Word Sprints on Twitter.  DO IT.

Seriously, if you're looking for the best writing motivator ever, follow Word Sprints.  They set up little timed sprints specifically for NaNo writers, and it's a blast!  Just check Twitter, and wait until you see a tweet like "Going for 5 minutes at 3:30".  Once the 5 minutes start, you write as much as you possibly can before time is up.  Then everyone can tweet their word count or a snippet of dialogue.  They often include challenges and writing prompts as well, and since the sprint leader changes up all the time, there's always something new going on.  

My favorite is when they do the #NaNoHouseCup.  For those of you who like Harry Potter, they do word sprints with a Hogwarts theme.  At the end of each time you post your word count along with your house.  They tally them up and announce the winning house for that week.  Then, at the end of the month, the house cup is awarded to the house with the most words written.  It's insanely fun, and I've gotten way better word counts since I started!  (By the way, Ravenclaw won last year.  Wit beyond measure...just saying.)

9. Attend a Write-In

When you sign up for NaNoWriMo there's an option to enter your region, and I strongly suggest you do this.  If you find your region on the list, check to see if there are local meetings and events in your area!  Some regions have kick off parties, special events, and weekly writing sessions.  If you like writing in groups, definitely take advantage of this!  Some events even include prizes, and it's a great way to meet other writers along the way.

10. ENJOY YOURSELF.

The whole point of NaNoWriMo is to be creative, passionate, and "all in" for your novel.  Besides, the reason we start writing in the first place is because we love it so much, so let that shine through!  If you find you're bored, frustrated, or stressed about it, switch it up!  Change the direction of your current story, or maybe change the story altogether.  Just keep breathing and have a good time!

And don't forget, you can catch up on sleep in December *wink*

If you have any questions about NaNoWriMo, feel free to ask!  And let me know if you're planning on accepting the challenge.  Maybe I'll see you at a Write-In this November!